My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
