i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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