you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
The Olympian is in my bed
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
