just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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