Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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