Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
