Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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