The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
