tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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