"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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