the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
