My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
