i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize