Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
