He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he puts the penis in happiness.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
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