so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
