these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I currently don't understand fingers.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
