i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
