Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
