I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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