I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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