So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
