i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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