I look better un-naked...
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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