have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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