take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
