u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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