this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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