He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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