It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
