Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
