is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
