She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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