They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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