I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
