So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
You've changed since you got that strap on
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
