How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
either way he was missing a nipple.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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