I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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