Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize