so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
