You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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