Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
