I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
