I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
As shirtless as possible
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
