yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
