Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
