five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
