I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize