Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
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