Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
