It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
