I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
