The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
