I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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