a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
