My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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