dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
