I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
