no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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