CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
