Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
