i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
