You just made me feel so damn special
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
