Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
