plz talk dirty to me
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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