She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Randomize
