hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
