Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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