All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
