i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize