He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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