Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
