Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
