she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
