I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
