im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize