coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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