dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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