girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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