I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
