the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
